So I am due with my second baby this week! As any of you other moms who have had babies know the last 4 weeks seem to be the longest of your life! This pregnancy seemed to fly by in comparison to my first. Although I have been reminded almost daily how much I’m “not really that into” being pregnant. I’m ready to welcome my next miracle into the world and start this new phase of mothering.. being a parent of two!
So both of my kids were “planned” and in that period of time there were a lot of check lists and mental notes that were made. The one that I’m going to talk about in this post is “Why I Wanted a Second Baby”
When I was the ripe old age of two I became a big sister. I do not remember this time in anyway at all LOL that being said I don’t remember a time I didn’t have my little sister in my life. We of course went through our normal sibling issues of jealousy, bickering and physical violence. I know that there were some bad fights (especially in our pre-teen years) where we both decided we would never be able to live knowing the other and could never forgive one another for some horrible fight. After some maturing we both made it out the other side as best friends. I know that my sister is the one person in the world who has been through a lot of similar experiences and no matter what she will be there to lean on or just to listen to what I have to say without judgement. I don’t have a lot of friends still kicking around from elementary school… except her. I have a few high school friends I keep in touch with but NONE that I talk to as much as her. When I had issues with my parents at anytime in my life the ONLY person who could relate this with was my sister. My baby sister is my tried and true shoulder to lean on. My husband was an only child until he was 20 years old. He went through all of those same experiences without someone to be his “forever buddy.” The security of having that person who is a piece of you but a different person completely is something that I have always wanted for my children. I can’t fathom a world in which I didn’t have a sibling so I think it is only fair to my offspring to have that same relationship in their life.
When August 2016 rolled around and I realized that my first born son would be heading off to kindergarten in September of 2017 I realized how the stars were aligning for my second child. I had a very similar realization with my son when I saw my 30th birthdayon the horizon and planning for baby #1 became a serious discussion for my husband and myself. Both times I got pregnant pretty much right away thankfully (so many people aren’t so lucky) almost quicker than expected or planned! Timing will work out this time that as precious baby #2 arrives I will be home for 6 weeks with both kids then Mr. Baby #1 will head to kindergarten. This will be hard as I’ve been home for the majority of his 3 years but also good for myself and Miss Baby #2. I think I would be a lot more lonely with him off to school (even if I went to back to work full time) if the timing didn’t work out this way than I would be able to admit. I’m hoping to have posts up in the coming months that address these feelings and topics more!
I am naturally a long term thinker. It may sound morbid but I do on occasion contemplate a world after I am dead and gone and more so since becoming a mother. That brought up feelings of what if tragically my husband and I were gone at the same time leaving my son behind. I would want him to have that “forever buddy” to continue family traditions with. Extended family like my parents and sister would of course be part of his life but I would “rest” easier knowing that he had that one (or more…) person in his life that had childhood memories and rituals to relate to. I’m not delusional and realize they may not get along and they may not see eye to eye their whole life but I hope that I can teach them about how important and rewarding a sibling relationship can be.
The last point I’m going to make about this topic is that OF COURSE I had baby fever and this played a part in my choice to have a second baby. My sister, two cousins and a few friends all were pregnant. I longed for that sweet sweet smell of a baby in my arms again. Of course I could have subdued this urge with one of the many babies around or on the way but there is nothing like having your own sweet sweet babe in your arms or snuggled into your chest in a baby carrier. I could not imagine NEVER feeling that feeling of embracing my own brand new child close again. Now that I’ve been THIS pregnant for what seems like forever I have come to terms that this is most likely my last baby. I don’t think I can manage being pregnant again… and come out sane on the other side. I’m not going to say never or its impossible but I think that two babies is a good number and a family of four is a pretty perfect round number. Stay tuned though… you never know when that baby fever is going to hit again!